Ransoming Computer Time

Wow, I haven't posted here in ages! But I had a funny that was just too good to pass up.

Gus has been having a very emotional day today, getting agitated easily and quickly losing his ability to regulate himself. So he played in his room for a bit and DH decided to take that opportunity to play a new Spiderman XBox game. Of course as soon as Gus heard it, he wanted to play. DH showed him the controls, and Gus usurped control of the game to DH's displeasure. Eventually, DH wrested control of the game back, which annoyed Gus. What was worse was that he had been banned from the computer for a while. We turned off the television altogether because it seemed that he needed a break from all electronics.

He went upstairs. He came back downstairs. We offered a board game and he refused to play. As we sat around the board with MM, I caught Gus crawling under the computer chair trying to sneak to the computer. He also tried to sneak to the television remote. Finally, I noticed him rummaging around the printer. Odd. He grabbed a pencil and scribbled something on a blank sheet of paper:

The first note:
I am Busy right Now
So What?

He brought it to me and asked me to make it into a paper airplane. Over my laughter, I heard him explain that he was busy and needed the computer. That effort, of course, failed.

The second note:
Come on
I Will olny Be on the computer
for 24 seconds

That one I did turn into a paper airplane! But again, we held firm. But he was amused by that point.

The final note (and keep in mind, he was humming Pink's So What as he scribbled):
We are going to Start a Fight nowww!

I don't think he has any future as a career ransomer, but he sure is funny! He and I eventually went upstairs to build bridges out of wood blocks and had the best time.

Too Funny to Pass Up

Gus has been home sick for the majority of this week, and this morning he had a low grade fever, so I'm taking him to the doctor. He's really sluggish and not doing what he needs to do. So while he was sitting down to eat breakfast, his mind was sort of wandering and this conversation came up between him and his sister...

Gus: I think I'm gonna be seasick...Why would anyone get sick of C's? Too many C's...

MM: No, you mean seasick. When you get sick in a boat. You get Na-chis.

Gus: What??

MM: Nachis! Nachis!

Gus: Nachos? (Giggling)

MM: No! Nachis...when you feel sick!

Gus: You mean nauseous.

MM: What's naw-shus?

Gus: When you feel like you have to throw up.

They then (how I don't know) got into a discussion of garbage.

A bit of Friday morning silliness to ward off the lingering effects of a week-long sickness (but not seasickness because we are actually running low on C's at the moment).

Have a great weekend.

Homework fun

"Six minus one?"

"Nothing."

"Six minus one?"

"Nothing."

Repeat ten times.

"I'm going to say it until you get tired of hearing it and give me the answer."

Sigh. "Five!"

"Great! Three minus three?"

Silence. Yeah, wise guy, gotcha now! He smirks, knowing he's caught.

"Uh...three." We both laugh and he gives me the right answer.

Earlier in the homework adventures...

"Okay, write your name and try to keep your letters on the line." Of course the letters start to float above the line, a weak escape attempt. "Oh no! Where are those letters going? They're flying away!" Giggles. We erase, try again, and get the first name on the line. Soon, the letters of the last name start to drift up. "Hey! Those letters are flying without a license! Get them down from there!"

Gus draws a little circle next to the last letter. "That's their ticket!"

This is going to be a fun year.

He sure told me

Burgers and mashed potatoes for dinner, one of his favorites. A little too favorite on this night.

"Please stop putting the potatoes on your back."

A look of pure pity and disdain. Gosh, mom, how can you be so dumb? "This is not the future of fashion!" Jeez, woman, what are you thinking?

Clearly, I am not smart enough to realize that potatoes are not clothing, but merely a natural skin cream. Silly me.


P.S. Gus's cycling success motivated his sister to jump on the bandwagon. We are now a training-wheel-free zone! Yippee!

My Little Wise-Guy

"Good night," I say.

"Good night."

"I love you," I say.

"I love you."

"Sweet dreams," I say.

"Sweet dreams."

"Mommy rocks," I say.

"Good night."

He doesn't even miss a beat. I guess all that work on pragmatic speech has paid off in impeccable comic timing.

Gus often gets stuck on things - nothing new about that, but for the past few days, he's been stuck on something amusing. Armpits.

The other day, I was getting him ready for bed and he asked what was under my shirt (pointing under my arm). So I said, "my armpit."

"Can I feel it?"

"Er...okay." It was an odd request, but mostly harmless I figured.

"What's that?"

"Stubble. Go to bed." So much for being harmless, I thought at the time.

He's been quiet about it for a bit, but then this evening as he was drifting off to sleep, he asked again. I should point out that since he was a baby, the underside of his arms have been a soothing point for him. I told him that he had to go to sleep. He kept trying to get under my sleeve, but I was firm and he said his good nights.

Five minutes later, wouldn't you know it - he came downstairs and tried to stick his hand under my sleeve again! That little sneak! I had to stop myself from busting out laughing.

He's off tomorrow - I hope he forgets about this because I don't know if I'll be able to fend him off all day.

Checking in...

I am halfway through my novel writing insanity, but it is going well. So I thought I'd pop in and update.

I had a parent/teacher conference today and Gus is doing famously in his academics. He's above grade level in most things and this is wonderful to hear. The bad news is that because of his short attention span, he can't sit still long enough to get tasks done. Or at least without an awful lot of redirection. I think the school is hoping that I will put him on some sort of medication. I just wonder though, will that mean that he'll be pushed to mainstream and then lose the support that he has? If that's the case, I don't think I'd be too happy with that. But that's still a little ways off - we (hopefully) finish up with the genetics testing next week and then I'll schedule an appointment with the other doctor to see where we stand.

On a happier note, we've experimented with tin can phones this afternoon. They didn't work exactly like they were supposed to, but Gus was running his finger along the string and we did get to see the whole principle of sound vibration in action. Fun stuff!!

Tomorrow morning, I am back to writing. I am pleased to say that Gus (the fictional one, not my son) has a girlfriend - he decided it was time - and she's had a marvelous effect on him. :-D

Hope all is well with whoever is reading!!! I should be back in a couple of weeks!

Literally speaking

Gus can be very literal minded, as can all kids, and sometimes he takes it to the most endearing extent. This was a conversation we had yesterday morning:

It was pretty frosty in the house, and we have no pellets to make a fire, so I tried to tell him to go upstairs and get his robe. Of course he ignored me. So, I said, "Okay, now fly upstairs and get your robe so I can help you put it on."

He looked at me, head to the side. "Um...I think I have to walk."

Taking advantage of my momentary ambush, I replied, "No, no! You have to fly up the stairs!"

"It's too far," he whined. Of course it was; that's why I didn't go myself.

"That's why I told you to fly - much faster." So hard to keep a straight face at that point.

"Do I have to pretend to fly on top of an airplane or something?" So literal minded, this one.

"Nah, just..." and here I kind of put one fist up, ala Superman, and mimed bounding into the air. "Whoosh!"

And so he did. He got his robe. He also forgot to come back downstairs, so I had to make a trip up anyway, but who cares. It was fun while it lasted.

Yet, at other times when some children would let their literal mindedness upset them, Gus is just fine.

Our neighbor was putting up a six-foot Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Halloween decoration as the kids ran around it playing. Gus kept poking them, so we joked that if he kept it up, the vampire-Tigger was going to eat him up. Gus laughed at that; the neighbor's four year old started to cry.

"I don't want Tigger to eat him up!" She was really quite inconsolable. This is the same kid who can watch Pirates of the Caribbean without blinking twice.

They really are fascinating beings, children are.

My life is a comedy of errors

Let me preface this by saying that in all the time my son has been in school - several years - I have never had to have my emergency contacts contacted. Ever.

This morning Gus woke up and sounded like he was wheezing slightly. He's had a cough for a few days. Nothing major - he gets one every year around this time. So as usual, I sent him to school & asked the teacher to let me know if he was in fact wheezing. I planned to take him to the doctor after school.

Now, I've arranged my schedule so I am only working 1 morning during the week, and my classes are only 90 minutes long. I typically turn my cell phone off during class - it's yoga and kind of expected. I pretty much figure - what could happen in an hour and a half. Plus, the school has the studio number anyway. To top that off, my husband was home sick today. You already see where this is going, right?

My class ends at 10:30; school calls my cell at 10:00. They call 4 times. They call the house; DH is out getting his car inspected. For some unknown reason, I neglected to give the school his cell number. They also tried the studio, but my boss, who was there, didn't answer the phone. Er...okaaaay. Now we're into the emergency numbers. Obviously, we are neglectful parents.

First emergency contact just misses the call by minutes. Probably out emptying the garbage or something. As she is trying to call back (and getting busy signals) the school gets the second contact, who is also home sick, with a 3 year old. She leaves to pick up Gus while first contact finally gets through. She is now worried why no one can reach me.

Right after class, I get the messages and call the school. After several busy signals, I finally reach the social worker and find out that someone (she doesn't know who specifically) is on their way to get my son.

After ripping several hairs from my poor, distressed head, I finally pick up Gus from my cousin, take him to the doctor and guess what??

He's FINE!!!

He's got a cough.

Yeah, yeah, protocol, blah blah.

A bit stressful today. But I've learned my lesson - the ringer on my phone stays on, period.

Blind leading the blind

"Which way is right?"

This is not the question to ask someone who routinely mixes up lefts and rights, especially when facing said directionally-challenged person.

I'm not totally incompetent about lefts and rights. The problem is that when I teach yoga, as I was taught, I mirror the class. So, I have to say "right," but use my left hand or leg and vice versa. It is a constant source of amusement for my students and bemusement for me. It's particularly interesting when one part of the body is going one way and another is going the other way, like when we're twisting. I'll admit, when it comes to twisting, I cheat.

"Um..."

Gus was trying to engage me in his game and I wanted to respond, but the explanation was too long and he would have lost interest if I made it too complicated. So how could I explain that it depends which way is right? Did he mean my right or his right? Should I have even gotten into all of that? The easiest thing would have been to tell him his right, which was actually my left. What did he care about my right? Why couldn't he just have asked for north, south, east or west? Those are fixed directions and I have them memorized in relation to our house. There's no ambiguity there. Hm...his right would have been north and my right would have been south...

This whole rationale spun my brain right into a knot.

Apparently I took too long to answer; he lost interest. But then, miracle Sunday, he came back! And he snuggled his back against me. "Which way is right?" Easy-peasy, my friend.

"It's that way."

Little Charmer

On our way to the supermarket this afternoon, I was playing a CD for my kids. MM has to listen to the same two songs, then I usually get to skip to a song. When Gus is in the car with us, he gets a pick, too. When my song came on, I was singing along, and MM started singing (very loudly) something completely different. I explained to her that it wasn't a very nice thing to do because she doesn't like having her music interrupted. This was the conversation that followed:

I said, jokingly, "What's the matter, you guys don't like Mommy's singing?"

Gus replied, "We do...it's like a lullaby."

"A lullaby," I asked? He normally tells me to be quiet when I start singing.

"Yes," he said, "But more peaceful."

"Well, you're charming!" I said.

If I wasn't driving the car I would have fallen over laughing and then given him the biggest squish!

He and his sister then proceeded to make me want to rip my hair out, but that's a story for another day. I'll choose to focus on the positive for now.