Homework fun

"Six minus one?"

"Nothing."

"Six minus one?"

"Nothing."

Repeat ten times.

"I'm going to say it until you get tired of hearing it and give me the answer."

Sigh. "Five!"

"Great! Three minus three?"

Silence. Yeah, wise guy, gotcha now! He smirks, knowing he's caught.

"Uh...three." We both laugh and he gives me the right answer.

Earlier in the homework adventures...

"Okay, write your name and try to keep your letters on the line." Of course the letters start to float above the line, a weak escape attempt. "Oh no! Where are those letters going? They're flying away!" Giggles. We erase, try again, and get the first name on the line. Soon, the letters of the last name start to drift up. "Hey! Those letters are flying without a license! Get them down from there!"

Gus draws a little circle next to the last letter. "That's their ticket!"

This is going to be a fun year.

The First Week

I don't want to get too excited, but the first week back went well. Gus's teacher reported that he was fine even if a little distracted by the afternoons. She gave him reading time at the end of the day, which helped. I'm happy to see that she's pretty adaptable, at least so far. We're going to target a few areas to work on with him: keeping his hands to himself and off of other people's things; keeping his internal dialog to himself are two that I'm thinking of. Hopefully we can work out some strategies that will help him self-regulate.

I've been reading a book called Positive Discipline, and while I'm still working my way through it, I do feel that the approach will leave a child feeling more empowered than the alternative discipline models. So far, I've seen better cooperation from MM and Gus has needed minimal redirection. They're both taking more responsibility in the house and are adhering to the new school-time routines. Maybe I can share what I'm learning with Gus's teacher for a better outcome than last year. By the end of the year, his self-worth seemed to have decreased (in my opinion), his anxiety had increased, and he ended up on medication. I am not interested in going that route again. If they can't meet his needs without making him feel down on himself, then perhaps it's time to give homeschooling a try. I don't know if I can do it, but I'd rather try than have my son feel unsuccessful because other people are frustrated from having to redirect him so much. That's what he's there for-his IEP even says so!

Anyway, I don't want to get into a rant. I'm going to stay positive as long as I can and hope for the best. How is the school year shaping up for you if you've got school-aged kids?

First Day Back!

Woo! We are so excited about the first day back to school, Gus was awake at 4:30! He's been asking questions:

What will I learn in second grade?
Will I learn Geography?
Will I learn English?
Will I learn Division?

We're all packed and ready for the school bus half an hour early. We've got lunch and noise-canceling earphones, as well as a note alerting the teacher just how early her eager student was up. Gosh, what most teachers wouldn't give for a student that jazzed about learning new things!

And it's an even bigger first day of school than usual because MM is starting Kindergarten today! She's just as excited about school as her brother is, and he's almost as excited for her as he is for himself.

With all the energy in the house this morning, is it any wonder I'm ready for a nap? Will update on how it all went tomorrow. For those with kids starting or starting back to school today, have a great one!

Some Possible Answers

Since taking Gus off his medication, I've looked for some alternative ways to help him focus during the school day. He's had a great week, only one less focused afternoon. That's pretty darned good! The weather is a big factor; he's just naturally more hyper and has a harder time during the colder months. But it's looking like physical activity and noise have been playing a big role as well.

It seems that when Gus has lots of physical activity on a daily basis, he's more focused in school. This is not surprising. Exercise increases serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine and endorphins. The neurotransmitters control alertness, emotions, and concentration, while endorphins are natural mood lifters. So, I've made it a point to make Gus exercise for about 10 minutes every morning with a peddler - an exercise bike without the seat part - spending 5 minutes working his legs and 5 minutes working his arms. After school, he's been either swimming at the beach or walking or something else to get him out and moving. I think that if I can work something out with his teacher in the fall where he has a break midday to do some exercises, everyone may have a happier school year.

The other change we've made is that Gus now uses headphones in the classroom. It seems that when he doesn't have to be anxious about noise, he can concentrate better on his work.

So I'm feeling optimistic about the possibility of a drug free school year to come. Now I just have to find an exercise regime that we can afford and that will be interesting enough for him to want to do it every day.

Freedom

Gus's last day on Strattera was Monday. It's a huge relief, and I feel like I've got my son back. He's more animated and he's eating again, thank goodness! So far there haven't been any major complaints from school. He was a little squirmy on the bus yesterday afternoon, and he was a little chatty and loud on the bus this afternoon. Otherwise, no unsafe behavior.

I got to observe him at school yesterday for a little while and the teacher seemed pleased and impressed by his encyclopedic knowledge. I'm sure she could have done without the low-level talking to himself, but she took it in stride.

He's been showing signs of sensory turbulence lately. He'd been okay with noise for a long time, but lately, since the spring, he's been covering his ears more and more. Now there's a student in the class who screams randomly. We're considering noise cancelling earphones.

Amazing how much easier I'm breathing this week.

Beating the Heat

The heat index is reportedly going up to dangerous levels today and tomorrow. Days like these, I worry about Gus, not just for the obvious reasons, but because his body never seems to respond well to even less intense heat. He gets awful eczema all summer long, incredible angry red bumps and blotches all over the backs of his legs and inner elbows. along with the inflammation come itching and discomfort, sometimes he rips up his skin something fierce. The rashes have, at times, extended to more unmentionable parts too, which is my big concern today.

Last week it was hot, but not sweltering. He apparently kept fussing with his pants and before the end of the day, he pulled them off. His tactile sensory issues are usually only a problem if he gets his clothes wet, so I concluded that his skin was the issue, not the clothes. I put what I could on his skin today to keep him comfortable (as much as I hate using steroids i.e. hydrocortisone, I can't watch him suffer for the next three months). So hopefully, he'll keep his pants on - literally - today. And I really hope that someone has the good sense to keep the little ones indoors, out of the beaming sun, today.

If anyone knows of any natural eczema ointments or creams that work really well, please comment and let me know! It would be great to help him without the steroids.

School Trips

Yesterday was the big school trip to Liberty Science Center. Wow, what a day! Gus was so excited I thought his head might start spinning a la Linda Blair. The car ride was long, long, long, but thanks to the meds, Gus fell asleep for a few minutes. The angst (amplified by the five-year-old mantra of, "Are we there yet?") didn't start until we unwisely decided to use my GPS to get ahead of the school bus because I had to find a bathroom ASAP. We survived, dry and in one piece and finally connected with the rest of the class.

LSC has four floors of hands on exploration, amazing exhibits, a huge IMAX theater and scheduled shows. And while it seemed that every school in the tri-state area was visiting, it was relatively uncrowded. I don't want to imagine what it would have been like otherwise.

We started on the first floor at the skyscraper exhibit. Gus promptly lost it. He wasn't misbehaving, rather he was so over-the-top excited, he was trying to pull me in every direction at once. Then he saw one of the interactive exhibits: kids strapped into harnesses and then allowed to walk across construction beams. I thought about letting him do it (he was about to rip my arm out of the socket trying to get up the stairs) but then I had a vision of him going out onto a beam and either a) freaking out when he realized the height or b) enjoying it so much he wouldn't come back. We left the skyscrapers.

The second floor had an exhibit of animals - one of Gus's favorite topics - called Eat and Be Eaten. He raced through the animals in their tanks, but was completely immersed with the presentation. He got to see a sponge, starfish, scorpion (which he wisely did not attempt to pet) and a giant cockroach (which, ugh, they did touch).

Another big hit was the Germ exhibit. A model of a human head randomly sneezed on the kids, and they of course were tickled senseless by this! I was pretty amused myself, just watching the glee at being splattered.

The best part of the day was the Science of Fear exhibit. That finally engaged him enough to calm him down. It was pretty darned cool. There were four booths set up, each to test different types of fear. The first had you stick your hand into a dark opening just below a tank with a snake and a sign that said Can you feel if an animal has climbed into the hole? Neither of us was that brave. Next to that was a big Jacob's Ladder of electrical current that asked you to stick your finger into a casing and allow yourself to get shocked. He declined and I took quite a while to get up the nerve. Then there was the Fear of Loud Noises. You sat in front of a video camera waiting, waiting and then BOOM! a sound like a shot came out of nowhere. Then the video replayed in slow motion to show you how you looked. Hilarious! He loved that. The best was last of course. The Fear of Falling where you get strapped to a table that tilts slowly back before suddenly dropping you to a cushion. Better than an amusement park ride. Gus took it like a champ, but more impressively, he waited on the long line with the patience of a Buddah. Score!

Just a word on how the Strattera fared...it didn't really. He was as hyper as he ever is in that type of situation and the car ride home was pretty nuts. Instead of crashing like we expected, he was totally revved up, even more so when we got home. I didn't expect that the medication would have done much.

All in all a fun day. He's asking if there's a Science of Fear exhibit closer to us. So I guess I'll stop writing and start looking.

Can't Tell If It's Working or Not

The higher dose of Strattera may or may not be working. It's hard to tell. Gus has been generally calmish except for little bouts of hyperactivity (in varying degrees of intensity) in the evenings. He's had decent days at school, but he's been crying a lot. Yesterday I asked him if something was bothering him and he said, "My head felt like a squished plantain." It seems like the medication may be helping a little in some areas, but overall, not a great difference. And the sensory issues still seem heightened. The impulse control, which is what we were hoping to help the most, is still not there. Yesterday, Gus decided it would be a good idea to hang from the curtains, and the curtain rod was pulled clean out of the wall. This was not the first time it's happened. Tonight my husband caught him chewing on the controller wires for his Gamecube - again seeking that oral sensory stimulation. He hasn't had problems with that in quite some time.

So I don't know that the medication is worth it, especially with comments like the one yesterday and some of the behaviors we're noticing.

Location Could Be Everything

I just had an interesting chat with the morning bus monitor. Gus has been able to get out of his car seat and has gotten up, but he only does it when the bus is stopped and they are waiting for the teachers to come out and get the kids. The impression from both bus monitors is that he's really smart and sweet and funny. He's not using any negative language or behavior during his hours with them. This is consistent with the way he generally behaves at home. He went through his phase of 'potty mouth' and occasionally gets nasty, but so does every other kid. Mostly, he's got a very laid-back, likable personality.

So the monitor made an observation about his ear-covering, which he's started doing these past couple of months. She felt that maybe he was just exposed to too much 'noise' during the day and is trying to block it out. By noise she meant corrections, instructions, demands, other kids...It's true that there are a lot more expectations on him than ever and being in a mainstream school building, visiting some mainstream classes (music) may be too much stimulation for him.

I can't argue that even though he wasn't getting as much in the realm of academics last year, he was certainly a happier kid and his staff was happier with him.

Unexpected and Curious

Today marks the fourth day of Gus's Strattera re-trial. Our first go at the medication ended after about six days because his behavior became wild on the afternoon of day six - to the point of endangering himself and the other people on the school bus. The doctor and I worried that increasing the dosage would make matters worse, but the results have been surprising.

Gus's behavior at home this weekend has been vastly different than what we heard from school. He's been very calm for the most part, sleepy even toward the afternoon. Yesterday there was one brief bout of grumpiness because he wanted to play a computer game and his sister wanted to watch TV, so he locked himself away in his room for a while. But there's been no name-calling or rudeness. As a matter of fact he was at a birthday party at a very crowded place and was just great. Around 5:30 he got a little burst of hyperactivity; last week it came a little earlier than normal - about 3ish.

One small issue he had last night was that he kept getting out of bed whereas he is usually the first to fall asleep. It was especially weird since he was completely exhausted from the day. But sometimes being too tired can effect the ability to fall asleep, so I won't panic over it.

Now, he'll be getting to that point where he started having serious problems early in the week. It seems that the increased dosage pushed back the bout of wildness enough that he hasn't had any bus trouble yet, but we'll see. If there's no major change for the worse on the bus, I'm willing to keep him at this level for a while longer and I'll probably even let teacher know by Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on when I speak to Doc. I'm sure she'll be pissed that I didn't tell her sooner, but scientific studies are often done blind for a good reason.

Maybe This Is Not the Right Place

With all the talk about Alex Barton, I'm thinking a lot lately about Gus's school experience. I try not to take things personally or to get too freaked out about the reports of what Gus is going 'wrong' during the day, but when it's every day, sometimes I have to wonder if he could possibly do anything right in the teachers' eyes.

Then there was the question of medication. They were pleased as punch when I finally agreed to try it. But I am getting a sense of annoyance because I took him off within the first week. The reports from the two days he was off the meds were good until I let the teacher know that he;d been off the meds. Then the story changed. All week, the reports have been negative, and I'm not saying his behavior hasn't been as reported, but I have to wonder if they are more negative because the teacher thinks he's off the medication. He's been back on the medication (unbeknownst to the school) and the reports have been the worst yet. I got a very terse note from the teacher today about how Gus was yelling at people today, throwing himself on the floor and being generally rude. Again, I don't dispute it - I saw how he got on the lower dosage of this medication. I just wonder if her annoyance would be as apparent if she knew that he was still on the same drug.

I'm also thinking that it may have been a mistake to take him out of his previous program for one more geared toward mainstreaming. Yes, he's getting more in the way of academics, but I think the staff in the other program was a bit more...understanding about certain behaviors. I could walk into his class last year at any given time and just feel the love toward my son. There is very little, if any toward him where he is now.

I understand how teachers can get burnt out and fed up with students. I taught for four years. I can understand it, but that doesn't mean I want a constant stream of 'you're not good enough' being hurled at him for another year.

Should I get the district to put him back in his old school? Will that give him and even worse message about his capabilities? I just want my kid to learn and be happy - is that too much to ask? He's in a special needs class for a reason - because he's got special needs. One of those needs is for understanding and compassion, not irritation on a daily basis. And I increasingly doubt that one of those needs can be met from a little brown bottle.

Pardon Me, But I Think You're Full of Poop

An IM conversation I was having with a good friend:

"I hypothesize that if there were less a*holes in the world, our kids would have an easier time."

"That is also amazingly true, but for some reason being an a*hole is acceptable. Because it is the norm, I guess?"

Gus was on Strattera for six days. Of those six days, the first day was fine; second day he needed prompting in the afternoon; fifth day (a Monday) he had a bad day; day six he was okay at school, but wouldn't stay in his seat on the afternoon bus. Honestly, these reports could have come at any time, whether on the meds or not. They were pretty unremarkable except for the school bus incident. The end of last week he had two decent days off the medication.

Today, his first day back from the Memorial Day weekend (he never has a good day after a weekend or holiday), also the day the teacher found out that he'd been off the meds for a few days, he apparently had a terrible day. I got a whole laundry list of things he did wrong today. And suddenly it seems that she had a feeling he was off the meds.

I think she's full of something stinky.

I'm so fed up with the ridiculous expectations and the negative attitude. Not that Gus is an angel, but he's a pretty good kid. Seven-year-olds can be defiant, so can five-year-olds and teenagers. Why must my kid be singled out every day of his freaking life because he's not medicated?

We'll probably try a different dose of the Strattera before switching to the Focalin. Heaven help these people if he gets so out of control that he does something really dangerous to himself or if this medication harms him in any way. Heaven help them.

Edit: Doc and I have settled on a slightly higher dosage for a few days to step him up slowly. I have a headache now.

Getting Worse

Gus was up at 5 am today, and by 5:30 was completely off the wall. Yet his teacher reported that he had a pretty decent day, only "got caught" not doing his independent work twice. However, this tells me that he wasn't focusing. The real disturbing news came just now from the bus monitor.

He's always been especially good on the afternoon bus, so good that he hasn't needed to be in his car seat. Today, the monitor said she had trouble with him staying seated. Right now he's hopping around like a jack rabbit on speed. I'm used to high energy and racing around from him. This is way beyond his usual level of hyperactivity.

I'm waiting for a call from the doctor. If he's like this on the lowest dosage, will he get worse by increasing it, or will an increase have the desired effect?

I want to scream right now. I hate, hate, hate this process. It's hard enough to watch my son when he's struggling for control of his behavior and his body under normal circumstances. To think that something that I'm making him take (he spit it out this morning) is making his struggle so much worse, makes me want to kick myself. But they've said that it can take time for the body to adjust. What the hell am I adjusting to though?

Edit: After a conversation with his doctor, we've decided that Gus is going to stop taking the Strattera, at least for now. We'll see how he is for a few day s and then decide if we're going to increase the dosage. I'm very worried about that prospect and so is the doctor. She expected that he'd have no noticeable response, if any. So we'll revisit after the holiday weekend.

Perhaps too soon

Gus had a horrendous day on Monday, which led to a phone conversation with his counselor and with her once again trying to convince me to try him on medication. I was getting very worried about his impulsivity, so I spoke to his pediatrician (the specialist he sees is also leaning towards medication). Everything is in place to decide on a medication trial - either Focalin or Strattera.

The funny part is that Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, he was great at school. Not a single complaint from his teacher, and he even got to go with her to the school plant sale where he picked out some marigolds for me.

This does not sound to me like a child in need of medication. Maybe we're jumping the gun on this.

I'm reminded of a Dave Matthews lyric from a song called You Never Know:
"But rushing around seems what's wrong with the world..."

You're not kidding Dave.

Rush to vaccinate, rush to medicate, rush to integrate.... Can't we just slow down a tick?

I.E.P. Diplomas Mean Squat

At Gus's last CSE meeting, it was mentioned that we have another year before we have to worry about standardized testing. I had asked about it last year as well. It boggles the mind how students in special Education are still required to take these tests. What's more disturbing is that if they don't pass the tests - or at least a certain number of tests - they do not become eligible for diplomas. This means that unless they complete at least an additional year of schooling AND pass a GED exam, they can't go to college or enlist in the military (military being a moot point in most cases anyway, I'd think).

This has bugged me for years, even before Gus was born when I was teaching high school. I worked in an incarcerated setting with children who were navigating the legal system. The last thing on their minds was a Regents test. So almost across the board, they failed and were rendered ineligible for regular high school diplomas even if they avoided long jail sentences.

What is the point of forcing a child who can't sit for thirty seconds, let alone three hours, to take an exam that stacks the cards against them? Years ago there used to be allowances for Special Education students to provide portfolios to demonstrate mastery of the state curriculum, but those have been phased out. It was certainly a fairer assessment tool than the damned standardized tests that are killing our educational system and leaving every child behind.

Test taking does not equal learning. There will be some brilliant kids denied higher education because they can't pass a stupid test, while those who can pass the tests will only have managed to prove that they can regurgitate information at least until that three-hour block of time is done, but not that they can necessarily think critically or assimilate the knowledge beyond the piece of paper with the annoying little circles.

Gus would probably be able to pass the third grade English exam now, if he could actually focus long enough to finish. It's going to be a thorn in my side for sure, but hopefully they can give him accommodations that will actually allow him to show how much he can spit back. No test will ever give a true picture of how smart the kid really is, but if he can get a diploma and go to college, I'll be satisfied with having that knowledge for myself.

A Break from the Gloom and Uncertainty

Two fun things about Gus today...

Gus woke up around 5:30 and came into our room as usual, said good morning and turned on the light. He lay down on the futon in our room for a few minutes, but then got bored, so decided to climb on us instead. Daddy took him to his room and set him up with some toys, where he stayed very obviously content and happy. How do I know this? He started humming the themes from Mario Kart - his favorite video game! I was only half awake through all this, but what a nice way to come into full consciousness, listening to your happy child humming away without a care in the world!

The really big thing is that Gus is receiving a Principal's Award for Outstanding Effort! Woohoo!!! I can't even express how proud I am of him! It seems as if this is a school-wide award, meaning that he was selected out of all the students in his school, not just his class (I think that's the case anyway). I know he's been mainstreamed into one class - music. I'm just floored.! The assembly will be on Monday and I won't miss it for anything :-)

So that the good Gus news of the day! :-)

Typical is not off

Gus has had a substitute teacher for a few weeks now. His regular teacher broke a limb just before Christmas and hasn't been back yet. Heaven help us, she needs to get well soon. I keep getting notes home that he's 'off.' As if I'm supposed to know what that means. Honestly, by most people's definitions, he's a bit 'off' by design. So, is she telling me he's 'off ' from his usual 'offness'? What am I supposed to make of this?

I figured he wasn't getting his work done, so I've been drilling it into his head every day before school. You have to do your work, you have to listen to what your teachers are telling you to do. And he comes home with the same thing. I finally asked him what's going on? Is he doing his work? Is he listening to the teacher? He has said that he is, and actually, judging from the amount of homework he's been bringing home - no more than usual - I had to believe him. So I finally wrote the sub a note asking for specifics. What exactly is he doing that is so 'off?'

The note came home today that he's needs constant prompting to finish his assignments and that he seems to be in his own little world. He seems to be having trouble focusing.

What on earth is this woman doing in a program for spectrum kids?

That loud thudding noise you hear is my head slamming into the desk.

This is the note that I wrote back: "That is pretty typical for him."

Is she kidding me?

And by the way, on day 4 of the gluten-free diet, I have goofed and put spices with MSG into our dinner. But there has been zero change so far. If anything, Gus has been more hyper than usual. Except when he's in school, then he's just zoning out into his own little world. This life is going to drive me to drink one of these days.

Checking in...

I am halfway through my novel writing insanity, but it is going well. So I thought I'd pop in and update.

I had a parent/teacher conference today and Gus is doing famously in his academics. He's above grade level in most things and this is wonderful to hear. The bad news is that because of his short attention span, he can't sit still long enough to get tasks done. Or at least without an awful lot of redirection. I think the school is hoping that I will put him on some sort of medication. I just wonder though, will that mean that he'll be pushed to mainstream and then lose the support that he has? If that's the case, I don't think I'd be too happy with that. But that's still a little ways off - we (hopefully) finish up with the genetics testing next week and then I'll schedule an appointment with the other doctor to see where we stand.

On a happier note, we've experimented with tin can phones this afternoon. They didn't work exactly like they were supposed to, but Gus was running his finger along the string and we did get to see the whole principle of sound vibration in action. Fun stuff!!

Tomorrow morning, I am back to writing. I am pleased to say that Gus (the fictional one, not my son) has a girlfriend - he decided it was time - and she's had a marvelous effect on him. :-D

Hope all is well with whoever is reading!!! I should be back in a couple of weeks!

Homework and Mondays

Some days, I'll admit, I don't cope well. Some days the St. Johns Wort doesn't work as well as others; it's cold and my knees complain every time I have to walk up the stairs; the kids are feeling more ornery or less cooperative than usual...any combination of things can make the day a blessed heaven or a hellish pit of screaming and insanity.

I was pretty harsh on Gus today. I feel crappy about it, so no need to beat me up - I've got that covered. It was one of those bad combinations and it went all wrong pretty quickly.

He's usually pretty tired when he comes home from school so I let him have a snack and chill out a bit before starting homework. Today I made an apple pie just to give the kids something fun for a change instead of just fruit. They seemed to appreciate it. Then we went up and got ready for homework.

Now Mondays are usually tough because I have a schedule to keep. I've got the get homework done, kids bathed, dinner cooked and eaten and then off to work. It is not the best day for the type of homework that Gus despises or for his lovely sister to decide this is the day to torture him. We got a nice sized helping of both.

Spelling words. He had to trace them and then write them twice more. And there will be a test on Friday. Not something I can really blow off. The boy hates to write. The boy was tired. The boy didn't want to hear noise, but the girl wanted to do spelling like her brother. The mommy was about to ram her own head through the wall.

Here's the thing: She needs to learn empathy and to not kick people when they're down so to speak, but at the same time, he needs to learn to cope and that he can't expect the world to shut down when he needs quiet. Usually we make her stop, but why does she always have to be quiet? Why shouldn't she be allowed to sing if she's moved to (so what if she sounds horrid - she's four!) or to spell or laugh or whatever. It's her home too and all she was doing was being a four year old. She has the right to exist in her home too without being scolded for making noise. But of course as soon as I ask her to stop or she hears her brother getting upset over whatever she's doing, she becomes compelled to continue.

So, I lost it - on him. I ordered him to stop the crying and to deal with it. I told him that the world is not a quiet place (and I was being none too quiet about it) and that he had to cope with the noise sometimes. I asked him what he would do when he's in a bigger class and people were talking - would he tell everyone to be quiet? Would he cry every time someone spoke in class? And what about how he talks when other people want quiet - like at three in the morning when we're trying to sleep? Oddly, he actually responded to what I was saying in between crying more. I really suck at being a mom sometimes.

Then there was the added issue of trying to finish the damned homework. Usually his teacher wants me to make him form the letters properly and neatly. I gave up on that. The last couple of words were a mess, but at least he did them. I'll write a note. Once I got a grip on myself (which I did fairly quickly - not quick enough, but it was a short outburst) I decided to cut all our losses and just get through the best way we could. We have all week to learn to spell 'bicycles'.

We're all back on good terms and I'm dragging my creaky knees out into the cold to work. And I'll just have to hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

Independence

It was gently suggested to me that I need to make Gus do more things for himself. I know that I should, but when I try to it usually ends up in frustration, annoyance and all-around negativity for both of us. So perhaps I'm a bad parent for taking the easy way out, but I'm trying to fix it. This is what it sounded like this morning as we were waiting for the school bus:

"Okay, now we have to put on socks and sneakers." I hand Gus his socks. "Put your socks on, please." He holds his socks and starts reading a book. I take the book and tell him he can have it when he's done getting ready.

"Put your socks on." He drops them on the stairs and goes for a sticker book.

"Put your socks on." He places a sticker in his sticker book. I take the sticker book and place it away from him on the table.

"Gus, please put your socks on, then you can have the book." He takes the sticker book back and ignores me.

I guide him back to the stairs and hand him the socks. "Put. Your. Socks. On." He picks up a sock and stares off into space. I greatly desire to slam my head into the wall several times.

This is a truncated version of what we went through for each article of clothing this morning. I can have him dressed and ready for school in 10 minutes. It took us about half an hour. I must have repeated myself at least fifty times.

I will try going back to the schedule posted, but with having him do more things on his own and having to break down each step, that will be a lot of little tags for he schedule board. The school aides readily admitted that it would take a lot of redirection (holy cow, what an understatement) but that he was capable of doing things for himself. I know he is and at six and a half, I should really be making him less dependent on me. The question is, am I capable of keeping my head from slamming through the wall every morning?