Wonderfully Imperfect

Gus has been off Strattera for a few days now. I will admit, he's a little less focused and a little more hyperactive. I find myself having to tell him to do something ten times instead of eight. And ya know what? I'm so happy!

The Strattera seemed to suppress something essential in him. He became 'dulled.' I can't go so far as to say he was like a zombie, but he certainly lost his light. Sure he was calmer, but he wasn't Gus. Even the bus driver, who hadn't seen him since last summer, immediately noticed the difference.

As much as I'd like him to be able to focus, I don't want to lose all the parts of him that make him special. He's laughing again. He's running and animated (boy is he running and animated!) He's joking and singing - exuberant! I'd be an idiot to not want this version around. And he's sleeping again, thank heavens! One very interesting thing - I took him to a crowded beach today and he didn't have single problem. (He had two minor incidents last week, in a much smaller crowd of beach-goers.)

I'm sure that there are many people in the world who think the dull version is more socially appropriate, just because he was quieter, but they can, quite frankly, bite me.

Gus was very excited about his sister's dance recital yesterday. He was so excited that he got very emotional, crying because he wanted to leave already and the anxiety was too much. When he got to the show, he enjoyed himself immensely. He danced at his seat (my sister said he reminded her of our mother who always did the same thing at concerts) and sang along to the music. Unfortunately, there were people sitting behind the family (I was backstage volunteering with my daughter's class). So they took Gus out for a walk around the school, let him run around the gym for a bit to blow off some frenetic energy. He came in for her second number and made a break for the stage (during someone else's act). Fortunately, his Nana caught him. As soon as he saw his sister perform, he had to be taken home. The whole thing was too much for him.

And that was on the medication.

It didn't seem to help all that much. It's pretty much what he would have done had he not been on the meds.

Granted, he may not have been taking it long enough, or he may need a slightly higher dosage. Right now, the benefits have been minimal at best. But at least he enjoyed the show.

Whose Fault is it Really?

Gus decided to go pay a neighbor a visit this evening. Under normal circumstances, this might not be such a big deal. The problem is that we don't really know these neighbors and he barged into their home uninvited.

This hasn't been a problem in a while. He used to run into our old neighbor's apartment across the hall, and when we first moved here, he went into our next door neighbor's house. But he hasn't done that in about a year.

I want to throttle someone, but who? Do I blame the six year old who was just curious about what the people down the way were watching on television? Do I get mad at the father who was grilling outside and was supposed to be watching his son? Do I kick myself in the butt for allowing Gus to go out, when I know my husband can't multi-task, when we already had an incident earlier when my husband was supposed to be watching the kids, while I was inside mashing sweet potatoes? Who's really to blame here?

Or maybe I should just be grateful that our neighbors aren't maniacs and didn't try to hurt my son or scream at him (like the guy next door did last year) call the police or some other reaction that could have made this situation much worse.

Gus has been punished and is losing all video game and computer privileges for three days. I told my husband that I thought he should lose his gaming rights for three days as well; he was supposed to be responsible while Gus was outside or else he should have sent Gus in until he could pay attention. But he apparently does not agree.

So what I've learned today is that I cannot turn my back long enough to pee or to make a side dish for dinner.

And they say that having a child with special needs can put a strain on a marriage. I can't imagine why. By my view, it's not so much the child or the special needs that are the problem.

Please comment and let me know: am I wrong and/or crazy?