Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Grass is always greener

I know that most people with children on the spectrum would love nothing more than to have their children speaking. And honestly, I wouldn't want Gus to not speak because then I'd miss the wacky jokes and hilarious observations he makes. However...

There's always a 'but,' isn't there?

I don't know if he's doing it more, or if my nerves are just more sensitive than normal, but the constant noises and chatter are driving me batty. Almost from the minute he walks in from school until the time he falls asleep, there is a constant stream of sound coming from this boy. It's often accompanied by running through the house (like he is now). There is literally a cacophony: words, words, words, engine revving noise, earsplitting scream, engine revving, words, words, maniacal laughter, words, scream, engine...on and on. And by the way, the words are either unrelated to each other or are slightly varied repetitions of each other. Here's a for instance: I would like a chicken sandwich...I would like a macaroni sandwich...I would like a peanut butter sandwich...I would like a naked mole-rat sandwich...I would like a knuckle sandwich...I would like a trampoline sandwich...

Sometimes I can tune all the sounds out - I have to because noise is a bit of a sensitivity for me. To much of it makes me nuts. It helps in a way because I'm able to really empathize with him when certain sounds are upsetting him. But at times when I am trying to get him to focus, like when we are doing homework or eating dinner (or when I'm trying to explain to him why he can't put the chair upside down on the stairs and he's ignoring me) it's extremely frustrating to have him just droning on constantly.

Heaven help me when MM decides to chime in and rev him up even more. Then we get a situation like the other night when I finally just screamed, "Why do I bother to say anything in here?" I really just wanted to get through dinner. I don't feel too badly about yelling - I don't think anyone heard me.

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